Everything is in a name

Remember remember, the 1st of November. Come November 1st, 2006 and Bangalore will be rechristened to Bengalooru. Is this good? Is this bad? Over the past few years there is a growing concern among the native people of Bangalore that the Kannada culture is fast dying and the city is being taken over by "outsiders". Well I am one of the "outsiders", but I'm here not because I love this city, but more because I work here to earn a living. Statistics reveal that only around 35% of the population in Bangalore is Kannada speaking. A large majority of the immigrants are due to the IT boom this city has seen in the past few years. In order to go back to its Kannada roots, the state government has proposed the best possible solution, which is to rename Bangalore to Bengalooru.

Lets analyze how this strategic move by the state government is going to change our lives. To begin with, the Kannada speaking population is going to increase. Outsiders like me are going to become more interested in learning Kannada and contribute towards preserving the culture. Maybe in a few years, statistics will take a U-turn and 35% of the population of Bangalore will be Non-Kannada speaking. This should be a good measure of progress for the government.

The next immediate effect of changing the name to Bengalooru will be that all roads in the city are going to get overhauled overnight. After so many years of getting complaints regarding pathetic roads in the city, the government finally realized that the only solution to this problem is renaming the city to Bengalooru. Smart move indeed. Starting 2nd November, 2006 get ready to cruise on hosur road and reach office in 15 mins flat. Too bad we wont be able to sleep in the bus for 1 hour.

The name change is also going to solve all traffic related problems this city is facing. No more will people drive like illiterate maniacs. No more will they honk horns as if they are in a rush to answer natures call. There will not be any lane changing in the middle of the highway and ofcourse people on 2 wheelers will stop using the footpath as an additional lane to zip past congested traffic. No more on Bomanahalli, will you see people crossing the road as if they are walking in a garden and the city will not come to a stop whenever it rains for ten minutes.

People in Bangalore are going to become a lot more nicer. Of course they are very nice even now, but after the name change they are going to become good samaritans. There will be no more incidents of thefts or muggings at late night. Ladies can move around at night without any fear of getting kidnapped and call center people needn't worry about their safety. No auto rickshaw driver is going to tell you, '10 Rs more saar'. In fact the auto wallah may even start giving you a discount and also carry your luggage till your doorstep. Real estate brokers will not charge you a single penny for showing you a house or getting you the best possible housing deal. Too bad we wont have all the fun we used to have in arguing and fighting with these people.

The name change will also take Bangalore close to becoming a fully functional metro after all don't all metro cities require a name change at some point of time in order to establish themselves. The state governments dream to convert Bangalore into another Singapore will also be realized shortly. The city's destiny is going to change with the name. So lets rejoice that the tax we pay every month to the government is finally being put to good use and the government is working as hard as possible to make every persons life (including outsiders) more enriching. Hail Bengalooru.